Ways to Handle Defiance in Teens

When your child reaches adolescence, you are likely to observe significant personality changes. A generally sweet-tempered youngster may become obstinate and argumentative. A youngster who has always followed your directions may begin to question and argue about the tiniest issue. Your lovely house will feel like a combat zone all of a sudden. Don’t give up hope; you are not the only parents in this predicament. 

Every youngster experiences turbulence during their adolescence. He’ll be dealing with a lot of bodily changes as well as attempting to figure out who he is as a person. Throughout the process, he will question your authority, try to push the boundaries you establish, and refuse to be reasoned with. It is your responsibility as parents to guide your teenagers through their mood swings and tantrums so that they emerge as disciplined and responsible adults. Here are five strategies for coping: 

  1. Be a role model: You may have gone from being a hero to an adversary in your child’s eyes almost overnight. But, deep down, you’re still her hero. As a result, she will mimic how you handle a problem. Her actions may irritate you, but try to remain cool. Don’t make fun of or embarrass her. She will be more receptive to what you have to say. 
  2. Have a plan ready: Try to foresee potential problems. On New Year’s Eve, for example, your youngster may want to remain out late with pals. Prepare a strategy ahead of time. You may devise something even more appealing to him and deliver it to him before he makes his demand. The conflict situation will never occur! 
  3. Choose your battles: Your teenager may want to pick a battle about everything. Don’t let that happen. Decide which issues you will not compromise on, such as manners and honesty, and stick to them. You may wish to concede on other less important matters, at least to some extent. This will demonstrate to them that you are willing to compromise at times. 
  4. Follow through: Set boundaries and make it obvious that there will be repercussions if they are violated. Your youngster will most likely put this to the test. If boundaries are exceeded, the consequences must be enforced. Don’t impose unrealistic consequences and try not to compromise with those consequences. 
  5. Check for hidden issues: Sustained opposition toward a certain topic may suggest an underlying issue. An unwillingness to study a specific topic, for example, might indicate that the youngster is having difficulties at school. Get the youngster or his buddies to open up, and then take the appropriate response. 

Teenagers deserve respect, empathy, and a willingness to consider their thoughts and ideas. When you instill these values in your interactions with your children, you are instantly laying the groundwork for them to follow as they grow into adults.